How do you face failure?

Im sitting here staring at the keyboard not really knowing what to write. Yesterday was hard. I feel like things are being dumped on me more and more. im trying to move forward, but it seems im just standing in a muddy hole.
I feel so alone. And i know most of the pain is from what i did. But, who do I ask forgiveness from? How can I forgive myself when no one will forgive me. I hate feeling this way. Im trying to get excited about my interview. But I dread it more than anything. How do you face failure? How do you go back to the life youve been trying to get away from? I want to be someone special.I want friends.I want people to tell me "great job".Or "im so proud of you."
When I close my eyes at night I want peace. But all I see is disaster and pain. I want to be happy again. I want to laugh at stupid stuff. I want to listen to music and not cry.

HOW DO YOU FACE FAILURE????