How do you face failure?

Im sitting here staring at the keyboard not really knowing what to write. Yesterday was hard. I feel like things are being dumped on me more and more. im trying to move forward, but it seems im just standing in a muddy hole.
I feel so alone. And i know most of the pain is from what i did. But, who do I ask forgiveness from? How can I forgive myself when no one will forgive me. I hate feeling this way. Im trying to get excited about my interview. But I dread it more than anything. How do you face failure? How do you go back to the life youve been trying to get away from? I want to be someone special.I want friends.I want people to tell me "great job".Or "im so proud of you."
When I close my eyes at night I want peace. But all I see is disaster and pain. I want to be happy again. I want to laugh at stupid stuff. I want to listen to music and not cry.

HOW DO YOU FACE FAILURE????

New song-best lyrics

havent been to church since I don’t remember when Things were goin’ great ‘til they fell apart again So I listened to the preacher as he told me what to do He said you can’t go hatin’ others who have done wrong to you Sometimes we get angry, but we must not condemn Let the good Lord do His job and you just pray for them I pray your brakes go out runnin’ down a hill I pray a flowerpot falls from a window sill and knocks you in the head like I’d like to I pray your birthday comes and nobody calls I pray you’re flyin’ high when your engine stalls I pray all your dreams never come true Just know whereever you are honey, I pray for you I’m really glad I found my way to church ‘Cause I’m already feelin’ better and I thank God for the words Yeah I’m goin’ take the high road And do what the preacher told me to do You keep messin’ up and I’ll keep prayin’ for you I pray your tire blows out at 110 I pray you pass out drunk with your best friend and wake up with his and her tattoos I pray your brakes go out runnin’ down a hill I pray a flowerpot falls from a window sill and knocks you in the head like I’d like to I pray your birthday comes and nobody calls I pray you’re flyin’ high when your engine stalls I pray all your dreams never come true Just know whereever you are, near or far, in your house or in your car, wherever you are honey, I pray for you. I pray for you.