Oh Happy Day

Its funny, that the smallest thing can make a day better. For me, I know that all is good in the world for 30 mins when A Charlie Brown Christmas is on. When we watch that, the world around me can be silent, but it speaks volumes for the simple things in life. That warm comforting "dorkiness" that it has. The peace it grants the viewer. The idea that we can get back to the easy happy times.

Or, a beautiful, soft, sunny day. Music playing.Taking time to be...well, just BE. The smell of fresh cut grass. Kids laughing while racing on their bikes. The sounds of a neighborhood.
The best time is after dinner, the sun is not quite setting,smells of BBQ, friends wave as they walk by. Sitting on the front porch. Finding that radio station thats playing music that you normally dont listen to. Like ABBA. And the crazy thing, you know all the words. And it takes you by surprise. You realize after a moment that your singing out loud. And you dont care. You laugh as cars slow down and just stare. And then they laugh and you know they get it! The break from being...what ever the world labels you. For that moment, you get back to the core of what or who you are. And, we all know that the next day can and will be different. But you have this wonderful memory of one perfect Saturday night. No one cares that you're not dressed up, no one to impress, to look good for. Your hair looks crazy and no makeup. Sweatpants and silly rainbow socks. And you hope that God grants you another day like this soon. Maybe share it with friends. Maybe over beer and Cheeseburgers. I thank God silently for today. And I hope this type of day is granted to others that I know and have in my life. I am grateful for all of them. I am grateful for all that I have.
And I am grateful for the courage to sing ABBA at the top of my lungs and not care!!!
Smile & be Dorky!!!

Merciful Dance

Writhing bodies clad in black. Flow past me as I stare.Like beacons on a stormy sea. The lights around them flare.
Leather, velvet, metal, lace -These ornaments they don,Yet their necks remain unclothed.For me to gaze upon.
Swirling through the smoke-filled air,The music lifts their soul.Succumbing to this sonic drug,Their minds have lost control.
I pull my cloak in close to meAnd drift into the crowd.I search each ghoulish painted face.As death looms like a cloud.
My angel's face appears to meAmidst the swaying mass.I glide to her through sound and haze,Ignoring those I pass.
My eyes fixate upon her skin -So smooth, so soft, so white...Her naked arms flail wildly.She waltzes with the night.
I reach out, and I touch her hair.Which has fallen in her eyes.She sees me for the first time now.And jumps back in surprise.
I grasp her hand and pull her near.She's powerless to my touch.I feel her warmth flow into me.I want her blood so much.
But I can bring no harm to her,Despite my deadly urge.As I stand there with my love,My heaven and hell converge.
I cannot make her who I am.To live eternally,Feeding off the innocent.As they die painfully.
And so I share a final danceWith her before I go.I kiss her lips once, turn away,And let my hunger grow.

$^&$^$$^&)$&())(*&^%$#@#

Great title line huh.....?

So, this all is a huge cluster fuck......................house,money,personally,all of it. And I have no one,,,to help, to listen......to whatever.................

I want a refund!!!!

this ride sucks!!!!

Thunderstorms

Despondent-Vacant-Crashing-Dark-Lost-Scared-Pissed off-Sad-Losing Control-Hurt.


Go away........................................

Which way?

Sunday afternoon. And Im trying to figure out which way to go. One path before me with some promise of a future that could make my dreams come true.But at what price. Another path leads me to a quiet place, where I could be happy. But would I be content. There are so many cliche sayings,OPPURTUNITY ONLY KNOCKS ONCE, FOLLOW YOUR HEART NOT YOUR HEAD, KHARMA'S A BITCH.
A wise and kind person said to me recently that we dont cause bad kharma to ourselves if we do bad things. A negative reaction from the universe does not kick back to a bad action Ive done.
CHAOS THEORY-IF A BUTTERFLY FLAPS ITS WINGS IN CHINA.A HURRICANE IS CAUSED IN FLORIDA. or whatever the saying is. If I go to LA will I cause chaos here at home.(secret-i usually cause chaos anyway). Will I ever get a chance like this again? Do I deserve a chance like this? If I go will i have something to come back to? More think time........peace.